Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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