she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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