Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
