all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
