If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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