Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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