Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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