I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
