Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
