She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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