He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
