Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
