the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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