the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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