What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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