currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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