Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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