what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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