is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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