I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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