just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
