We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
