New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
