i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
