butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
