Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We have started to decorate penises.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
