i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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