I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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