I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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