Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
