Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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