Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
