you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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