highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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