Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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