bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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