Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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