Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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