I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
