Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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