Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
