you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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