let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
