Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
sarcasm needs its own font
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
