Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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