What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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