You can't motorboat a personality
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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