I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
