gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
