y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
