real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
